If God stopped me on the street and asked for my opinion
I'd give him a few pointers on how I'd be running MY Dominion
For starters there'd be no more wars so folks wouldn't have to die
And I'd stop birds crapping on the wing and landing in your eye.

I'd deal with famine with maintenance to make all the world a fertile place
And amalgamate the cultures to avoid bullshit based on race
Kids wouldn't learn to use their voice until they had left home
And I'd implant some device inside the brain so I didn't need to hold the phone.

I'd sort out men's stupid need to only want chicks who look hot
And make for them a mirror so that could see all that they are not
I'd instigate a concept of internal retribution
So people just punished themselves, no need for penal institutions.

Dogs and cats need some tinkering to teach them to obey
And Emo lawns to learn to cut themselves instead of growing next year's hay
Illness needs to be outlawed so people's lives aren't such a waste
And someone's gotta deal with sperm, I mean does anyone like the taste?

I'd make sure that every woman had a good man to love her well
And make sure that no-one was odoriferous and so not be put off by smell
I'd make loving something all could have so no-one would miss out
And TV sets that adjust themselves so I wouldn't have to shout.

I guess God has lots of stuff that keeps him really busy
But His world has gone to pot now and all the crap just makes me dizzy
Too many people needing guidance how to take their every step
And false prophets and religions are giving Spirit a bad rep

So anyway, if you are out and God stops you on your travels
Just point out to him the places where his knitting has unraveled
Offer Him some suggestions on how he can make things for everyone much better
And remind him that next Christmas time we want a moaner, not a sweater.